In this issue you can find humour, club activity updates, general golf trivia and other bits and pieces along a golfing theme.

This is your medium for getting information published so please use the opportunity.

Colm Burke & David Hainsworth

We will be making a big effort this year to update our database of membership details. We would like to gain as much relevant data about our members as possible so that we can provide the best possible service to you the members.

The first stage of this will be with the issuance of the requests for annual subs over the coming weeks. Each letter will have all the information we have available for each member. We would appreciate that this form be returned with your annual sub with whatever updates or corrections there may be. Areas we are particularly interested in are mobile numbers and email addresses. Both of these are important as we intend setting up a group text and email facility to notify members of competitions and events in the club.

The recently installed membership system allows us to retain a wide variety of information about our members which will be used to provide a more focused and quality service to everybody within the club. Your co-operation and input to these new developments will be most appreciated. Top of page

Restaurant -

As many of you will know the club took back the operation of the Restaurant at the start of November. We have employed Gerard Foster as the Head Chef and he has started off with great enthusiasm for the role. The initial reaction has been very positive with some constructive suggestions being put forward which will be worked upon as we move forward. It is the intention of the club to provide a quality facility for all the members and their guests at times appropriate to everybody. As with every new venture there will be problems starting out but we hope that we will have the support of all the members as we develop this facility.

Taken from the GUI website so no arguments please !

Q1. In stroke play a player puts a strip of tape on the top of the club head to reduce glare - what is the penalty ?

Q2. Two competitors playing in the same stroke play competition at different times on the same day caddie for each other and give advice. What is the ruling?

Answers are at the bottom of page 4 Top of page

The smart cards have been in operation now for almost 6 months and have grown in popularity every week. Currently it can be used in the bar with a 5% discount and in the restaurant. There are plans in the offing to enable us to pay for our competition entry in this manner also and also, following some requests, allow us to put money aside to allow us to pay our annual subs. Keep an eye on the noticeboards for developments on these fronts over the coming weeks. We are also looking at a way around having to load credit on either bar or restaurant so that money can be taken from a central pool for use in either area

As we all relaxed on St. Stephens Day after the excesses of the day before we were greeted by the pictures of the tsunami from SE Asia and the horrific impact it had on so many people.

So many people have been moved by what they have seen and continue to be moved by the human stories which are beamed into our homes on a hourly basis. There is a collection jar in the club house to which people are giving very generously. To add to this all income received from the first weekend of the winter league will also be donated to the fund. Details of the total amount donated by the club and the members will be posted shortly.

On December 19th there was an hour or so of Christmas song in the golf club. The evening was well attended and enjoyed by all. A point noted on the evening was that there were three generations of five different families in attendance in the McCusker, Higgins, Hainsworth, Davis and Lambe families .. the future is bright. Thanks to Dr. Larry Fullam and to all the singers for a lovely evening
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The ever popular winter league runs again for January and early February. This year we have used our new technology to allow cards to be entered as they have been done during the summer months and this in turn will provide us with a quicker update on completion of play each weekend.

Also for a trial this year we have allowed the playing of golf on Fridays to qualify for the competition. The take up and viability of this option will be reviewed as the competition continues. If you play on Friday you can't play agin over the weekend.

The format this year has changed slightly, primarily due to the technology available, which means that every week there will be 6 on each team counting towards the team score. This will mean that while teams can open up large leads they will just as easily be clawed back with a good team effort on any particular week.

The finals will follow the format of previous years in that the semi final will be the top two teams in each group playing to accumulate the best possible score and then the top two teams playing a matchplay competion to determine the eventual winners.

Team captains will require the support of as many players as possible every week with the new format.

WWW.PORTARLINGTONGOLF.COM

Is there anything you would like to see included in the website ? Paddy Bates is doing trojan work in getting the site updated on a regular basis. Recent developments have seen the entire history portion of the site overhauled to reflect the work of Richard Mullins, more photos added and ongoing competition results posted. Please let us know of anything you would like to see included. This is your club website so input from all sides would be appreciated and I'm sure Paddy would be delighted with the input

"Reverse every natural instinct and do the opposite of what you are inclined to do, and you will probably come very close
to having a perfect golf swing" Ben Hogan

With this newsletter, the website and with planned developments on signage etc we aim to provide a better return to our sponsors as the season progresses. We will also be looking at year round on course sponsorship also so if this grabs your attention again please contact any member of the committee.

Following the initial meetings of the committees the following people have been assigned the key roles for the year ahead.

PRO Men Colm Burke
Ladies Stephanie Gorman
Competitions Men Phil Lyons
Ladies Breda Conlon assisted by
Carmel Fitzpatrick
Handicaps Men Joe Bolton
Ladies Margaret Watchorne
Socials Dr. Larry Fullam & Noel McMahon
Society & Green Fees Tom Hainsworth
House Manager Paddy Egan
Finance Committee Chair Brian Hutchinson

Other roles will be allocated in the weeks ahead Top of page

Some of the team managers have been assigned already and I'm sure they will be doing their early research - others have yet to be decided. With the extended runs last year by many teams and the success by the ladies the hopes are high this year that we will have something to show at the end of the season .. perhaps even the coveted Barton cup may return ?

LAW 1: No matter how bad your last shot was, the worst is yet to come. This law does not expire on the 18th hole, since it has the supernatural tendency to extend over the course of a tournament, a summer and, eventually, a lifetime.
LAW 2: Your best round of golf will be followed almost immediately by your worst round ever. The probability of the latter increases with the number of people you tell about the former.
LAW 3: Brand new golf balls are water-magnetic. Though this cannot be proven in the lab, it is a known fact that the more expensive the golf ball, the greater its attraction to water.
LAW 4: Golf balls never bounce off of trees back into play. If one does, the tree is breaking a law of the universe and should be cut down.
LAW 5: No matter what causes a golfer to duff a shot, all his playing partners must solemnly chant "head up," or invoke the wrath of the universe.
LAW 6: The higher a golfer's handicap, the more qualified he deems himself as an instructor.
LAW 7: Every par-three hole in the world has a secret desire to humiliate golfers. The shorter the hole, the greater its desire.
LAW 8: Topping a 3-iron is the most painful torture known to man.
LAW 9: Oak trees eat golf balls.
LAW 10: Sand is alive. If it isn't, how do you explain the way it works against you?
LAW 11: Golf carts always run out of juice at the farthest point from the clubhouse.
LAW 12: A golfer hitting into your group will always be bigger than anyone in your group. Likewise, a group you accidentally hit into will consist of a rugby player, a professional wrestler, a convicted murderer and a tax agent -- or some similar combination.
LAW 13: All 3-woods are demon-possessed.
LAW 14: Golf balls from the same "sleeve" tend to follow one another, particularly out of bounds or into the water (see Law three)
LAW 15: A severe slice is a thing of awesome power and beauty.
LAW 16: "Nice lag" can usually be translated to "lousy putt." Similarly, "tough break" can usually be translated "way to miss an easy one, sucker."
LAW 17: The person you would most hate to lose to will always be the one who beats you.
LAW 18: The last three holes of a round will automatically adjust your score to what it really should be.
LAW 19: Golf should be given up at least twice per month.
LAW 20: All vows taken on a golf course shall be valid only until the sunset of the same day Top of page

Rules Answers :

A1. The player is disqualified.
A2. Perfectly legal - no disqualification.

If you have any rules questions (and answers) please pass them on

As some of you will have noticed, we have recently commissioned a new club tie and we are looking at our options around getting a ladies scarf done also.

The ties are on sale at a cost of €20 each and can be obtained from the bar or from the Treasurer.

Would you like to submit a story, interesting fact or article for publication in the next issue ? Anything related to the club or golf in general will be considered and it will be good to get some additional help !

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